| When you hear the word grieving, the first thing that comes to mind is death. The definition of grief according to The Cleveland Clinic involves coping with a loss. The Cleveland Clinic states that death, divorce and the loss of a home are all major events that people grieve. The holidays are suppose to be a happy time with family, friends, eating good, exchanging gifts and more. For some, holidays can bring a trigger due to grieving and that can be from the loss of a job, marriage, friendship or loved one. There are a lot of people that are wondering what they can do to cope with grieving during the holidays. Here are some tips courtesy of Vitas Healthcare: Set realistic expectations for yourself. Remind yourself that this year is different. Decide if you can still handle past responsibilities and expectations. Examine the tasks and events of celebrating and ask yourself if you want to continue them. Accept others’ offers to cook, shop, decorate, etc. Consider shopping by phone, Internet or catalog this year if you feel a need to avoid crowds or memories. Surround yourself with people who love and support you. Share your plans with family and friends and let them know of changes in holiday routines. Memories can sometimes be a source of comfort to the bereaved, so share them by telling stories and looking at photo albums. Despite the temptation, try to avoid “canceling” the holiday. It is OK to avoid some circumstances that you don’t feel ready to handle, but don’t isolate yourself. Make some time for solitude, remembering and grieving, but balance it with planned social activities. Allow yourself to feel joy, sadness, anger – allow yourself to grieve. It is important to recognize that every family member has his/her own unique grief experience. No one way is right or wrong. Experiencing joy and laughter during a time of grief does not mean you have forgotten your loved one. Draw comfort from doing for others. Consider giving a donation or gift in memory of you loved one. Invite a guest who might otherwise be alone for the holidays. Adopt a needy family during the holiday season. Take care of yourself. Avoid using alcohol to self-medicate your mood. Try to avoid the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. Physical exercise is often an antidote for depression. Writing in a journal can be a good outlet for your grief. Give yourself permission to buy something frivolous and indulgent, just because. Create a new tradition or ritual that accommodates your current situation. Some people find comfort by honoring traditions, while others find them unbearably painful. Discuss with your family the activities you want to include or exclude this year. Some examples of new rituals and traditions include: Announce beforehand that someone different will carve the turkey. Create a memory box. Fill it with photos of your loved one or memory notes from family members and friends. Ask young children to contribute drawings in the memory box. Make a decorative quilt using favorite colors, symbols, images or pieces of clothing/fabric that remind you of the person who died. Light a candle in honor of your loved one. Put a bouquet of flowers on your holiday table in memory of your loved one. Visit the cemetery and decorate the memorial site. Have a moment of silence during a holiday toast to honor your loved one. Place a commemorative ornament on the Christmas tree. Dedicate one of the Chanukah candles in memory of your loved one. Write a poem about your loved one and read it during a holiday ritual. Play your loved one’s favorite music or favorite game. Plan a meal with your loved ones’ favorite foods. People grieve differently and that is ok. Some have emotions and some don’t, just don’t allow grieving to take you out of yourself and have you into a deep depression where can barely recognize yourself. It is hard to lose something or someone, but you have to remember to live life to the fullest. |
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